A Passion for People

Inspired by... my own life and experiences.

A long as I can remember I have loved meeting new people. When I was young, I would make a beeline for new people who joined my school to learn everything about them, to help them feel welcome and safe. I marveled at the different types of people I met in life, old, young and everything in between. I was fascinated by all people, cultures and especially anyone who seemed different from me.

I remember vividly a new girl from Northern Ireland moving to my school at the age of 7. She seemed so exotic to me with her unusual accent, and I was the first to put my hand up to help welcome her into our class. We stayed friends for years from that moment. When a girl from China joined our school a few years later, although she was in a different year to me that did not stop me making my introductions to her. She was a wonder to me; I had never met anyone so different from me and I wanted to know everything about her. I remember sitting together at lunchtimes sharing stories about our food. Where I was eating good old Irish ham sandwiches, she ate little boiled rice parcels wrapped in seaweed and other weird and wonderful delicacies I had never seen before.

When I was 15, I became friends with a girl, Obe, from Nigeria at a local sports camp. Her family had recently moved to Ireland and she was finding settling in tough. We spoke at length about her experiences of coming to Ireland and how strange she found it to be stared at by Irish people wherever she went. I tried to imagine what that might feel like. We talked about the first time she saw a white person in her village, running 3 miles just to get a look at them. We laughed so hard at this and we both understood a little more about how we all act differently to new people, sometimes with curiosity and openness but sometimes with fear and prejudice. It opened my eyes to experiences I had never seen or felt and helped me appreciate how hard it can be for people coming to a new land where their differences might be so striking it brings out fear in others. We both came away from our short friendship with a deeper understanding of each other and our different cultures.

The Darker side

I started life with a very naive and optimistic view of the world and of people. To me all people were inherently good and trustworthy. Over years I learned that this was not always the case and the sadness I felt when people let me down was profound, amplified due to the high expectations I set for people to be good. I could not understand why people did not have positive intent in everything they did. This confused me and led to feelings of anxiety, disappointment and stress when trying to comprehend being mistreated.

This fascination with meeting new people brought its dark side too. It led to friendship breakdowns and heartache over the years. When I wanted to branch out and meet new people, essentially breaking the social code of being in a group of friends, this would cause fights and hurt. As a result friendships were on and off for years, falling in and out of groups of friends. The hurt I felt through these times bred a deep mistrust of close friendships in me which has never fully left me. I was totally confused with the unwritten rules to being a friend. Why was it not more simple? Being tied to one group with rules of how our friendships should work felt like a cage to me and I continually rebelled against it and I too hurt others along the way.

Sparking joy

In life we need to surround ourselves with people who hold us up and bring out the best of who we are. For me I flourish around people who allow me the freedom to be who I am, with no rules and no judgement, people who I may not see for weeks, months or years but when we do meet up it is like nothing has ever changed and we thoroughly enjoy being in each others company.

In the words of Marie Kondo; they are people who "spark joy in your life".

Our Superpowers

I started off life with naivety and optimism at the core of my being; with the belief that all people are inherently good and capable of good things. Where once I felt this was a flaw in me, I now hold strong to these beliefs. They ensure I stay true to who I am. To bring my best self to everything I do. I recently read a book called Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey which at the heart of it is all about values and how by living your values in life, you will always succeed, even if you fail in your goals. Values such as trust, acceptance, curiosity, honesty, perseverance and fun. By understanding and being mindful of other people’s values, seeing and accepting their differences, in how they think, communicate, work and how they are energised, this can unlock potential and ability in anyone. You can unleash inner superpowers in others and allow them the space to flourish.

For me the naivety and optimism ingrained in me are my superpowers - to be able to see the good in people first and foremost and to believe that underneath everyone is capable of goodness - this is a gift. It allows you the flexibility to acknowledge flaws, in yourself as well as others, but also see the good and never give up hope that there is a way you can approach something differently, to mend what might look like it is broken. To feel that anything is possible to begin with and work backwards from there until you find the point where idealism meets possibility.

Succeeding, failing and learning

My love in life and in work is people. In the past where people stuff was not my focus, where I delved too deeply into abstract thought, repetitive or detail-oriented work or where I was surrounded by a toxic environment, I very quickly lost focus and did not thrive. Over the last number of years I have been given the opportunity, influenced by others who recognised a potential in me, to navigate my way into a role where my focus can be on people. I have helped others who were lost, unhappy, stressed, overwhelmed, confused, and frustrated to find balance or direction. I have failed, made mistakes, been overwhelmed, had errors in judgment and learned from it. I have also enjoyed working with already balanced and happy people and learned from them. I have helped build frameworks and processes of working that aim to engage people in their day-to-day work, with the end goal of having agile, happy, thriving teams. And I have loved every minute of the journey.

I have had moments of joy where something I have done or said has positively influenced another person or team. I have also been part of heart-breaking reality checks for people who needed tough love. I've learned although it might feel easier to walk away from a hard "people" situation and give up, that you cannot simply write someone off who appears not to be succeeding or thriving in their role. You need to look past this and view people with an unbiased critical eye and see their potential through a different lens. To inspect and adapt with the intention of helping that person to succeed and thrive, be it through a different approach of leadership or communication. By building trust and understanding. By giving them the skills, tools, support and knowledge to own their own growth. The reward from following the harder route is worth the effort.

And sometimes the road is simply not ours to influence and walking away is your only option. And that is OK too.

Finding my voice

What started as a path uncharted and unsteady has become the only path I want to follow. I want to soak up every thought and idea out there around people, culture, engagement, employee voice, and personal and organisational agility. I keep scratching the surface of areas I am interested in and while doing so am finding treasure troves of information, insights and knowledge, the more I find the deeper I keep digging. I want to be inspired. I want to meet others who feel the same and get chatting. I want to make a difference.

A naturally ingrained passion for people has suddenly become something tangible and real and workable into a career. It has taken me a while to get here and now that I have found my voice, I want to be part of the conversation.